Periods Don’t Have to Hurt

Did you know, there is such a thing as a symptom-free menstrual cycle?

Did you know there is such a thing as a standard for a healthy menstrual cycle, that when all the imbalances are gone, looks the same for every woman?

Yes, I know! They told you that whatever it looked like for you as a teenager was your ‘normal’ but that’s simply false.

Did you know that all the ‘uncomfortable’ symptoms of being a woman who bleeds every month are actual signals of a cycle imbalance?

Did you know there is another, healthier normal available to you, one without excessive pain, discomfort, and life interruption?

They say menstruation is the 5th Vital Sign indicating a woman’s whole body health.

Do you want to know what the signals mean for you? Do you want support finding a healthy cycle? What would it mean to you to free up all that vitality each month?

Contact me for a Menstrual Cycle Analysis – now 25% off because of Covid related hardships. ❤️

In this video I go waaaaay down the rabbit hole on this topic:

Ready to dive in? Book a session or free discovery call:

Stay Connected! Consider making a monthly pledge to Sarah’s Writing Blog, The Shewolf Pack. All my content is available for free, but there’s a little extra juju and love for those who support me financially.

The Importance of Uterine Alignment

Have you ever been told your uterus was ’tilted’?

I have, and rather nonchalantly I might add.
I remember being like, “woah… wait… what?”

It is pretty common for women to have tilted uteruses, but it’s not necessarily a healthy normal, and can lead to complications with menstruation like painful cramping, missing ovulation, as well as incontinence issues, and painful sex.

In the video below I explain what it really means to have uterine misalignment, how it happens, possible side effects, and how to potentially bring yourself back into alignment.

Also below I’ve included an e-book I mention in the video, about Internal Pelvic Mapping, which is one gentle way to help your uterus fine her natural alignment.

Another way to help keep your uterus supported is with specific exercise and movement. Recently I did a virtual Pelvic Reset Movement Series, where we combined deep breathwork, pelvic oriented movement, yoga, and strengthening, as well as myofascial release and nervous system support.

It was amazing. It may become a once a month I do live, but right now it’s available as a self guided, pay-what-you-can deal. There’s a link above, and below if you’re interested!

I’m also doing a little *Quarantine Sale* on all services on my website, 25% off just for joining my mailing list!

Here’s what’s on the menu:

  • Menstrual Cycle Analysis
  • Virtual Vaginal Steam Consultations
  • Sexual Wellness Coaching & Support
  • Personal Pelvic Reset Movement Classes
  • Holistic Fertility Coaching & Support
  • Holistic Postpartum Coaching & Support

Hope you are being nourished and finding grounding in these uncertain times. Here’s me doing my best to support you in that!

Love, love
Sarah Lou

Click below to watch the video on Uterine (Womb) Alignment:

The Importance of Uterine (Womb) Alignment

Click to download the e-book, Into the Pelvis: Internal Mapping How-To

Click for e-book
Click to download the e-book, Into the Pelvis: Internal Mapping How-To

Ready to dive in? Book a session or free discovery call:

Stay Connected! Consider making a monthly pledge to Sarah’s Writing Blog, The Shewolf Pack. All my content is available for free, but there’s a little extra juju and love for those who support me financially.

For Sexual Health, Women All Over The World Explore Vaginal Steaming

I know what you’re thinking, what kind of Beverly Hills bourgeoise elite fad is this?

Give me five minutes of your reading time, and by the end of this article you will understand how and why it could serve you, and just about every woman and girl you know.

Vaginal steaming is actually a thousands of years old practice, recently found in nearly 50 different cultures around the world. It is utilizing two of the most simple yet powerful forces in our natural world: herbs and steam.

It is nourishing, cleansing, grounding and empowering women all over the world today, as vaginal steaming has seen a resurrection, thanks our ability to communicate with healers from around the globe. And a few brave committed women.

Science is being done, peer reviewed tests and studies have happened for the first time in history just this year, to validate the midwives and wise women’s claims.

Vaginal Steaming Serves All Women

Here’s a short list of benefits of this centuries old, yet modern practice:

  • align with the innate force of healing within
  • reduce pain, cramping, and bloating from menstruation
  • regulate menstruation cycles
  • reduce uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts, and endometriosis
  • repair vaginal tears, scars, and episiotomies
  • treat painful endometriosis
  • treat hemorrhoids & organ prolapse
  • alleviate painful sex & enhance libido
  • enhance your sexual sensitivity
  • boost fertility and help women conceive
  • ease menopause symptoms: dryness, hormones, painful sex
  • clear up bacteria or yeast infections
  • drain painful cysts, heal from cyst ruptures
  • expel fibroids
  • resolve unexplained infertility
  • boost postpartum recovery, including blood pressure, pulse, uterine restoration, reduction of weight and waist size, healing of tears, gapping and swelling, the expulsion of lochia, bowel regularity and hemorrhoid reduction

My long love affair with Vaginal Steaming

I first found this practice in a training for Maya Abdominal Massage certification in Denver 2014. I immediately went home and started experimenting.

Before I started, my complaints were very common, and at the time I wouldn’t even call them symptoms, but just regular old PMS. Painful cramps, mood rollercoasters, low libido, breast soreness, bloating, irregularity, heavy bleeding, digestion issues… these were just what all women had, right?

Within one month of treatments, intuitively self guided, I discovered so much about myself. All those PMS symptoms vanished. I experienced for the first time in my life a REAL normal healthy period.

What I experienced:

I was blown away, because I had been exploring pelvic empowerment for almost 10 years by then. How had I never found this amazing practice before?!

Within one cycle all my most painful and uncomfortable PMS symptoms disappeared, and haven’t returned.

I started having lovely 29 day cycles with easy 4 day bleeds, where I found myself very in tune, naturally slower paced, introspective, and allowing.

That’s not all. For the last 8 months I had been trying to get pregnant, with my wasband (my ex-husband). I didn’t think I was having trouble yet, but puzzled as to why I wasn’t conceiving.

During the next 3 months of treatments I came to realize something very cool about life. I was not getting pregnant, not because there was something wrong with me, but because there was something right with life.

We know so very little about the unseen contract we as women make with the greater energy behind life, and how we come to cary this new being into the world.

I learned in my first year vaginal steaming that there’s no such thing as ‘infertility’, there is not one ‘problem’ that can fall upon a woman’s body that would prevent her from conceiving. (Aside from having no uterus of course.)

I realized that deep down, it was not in alignment for me to get pregnant. I wouldn’t understand why until months later.

Peeking behind the veil

See, we are more powerful than we realize, because we ARE the energy behind life, and our little personalities aren’t driving the bus.

When I realized this, I could let go of the lies that I was telling myself about my brokenness. I stopped doing things to sabotage myself.

It’s a painful hell like no other to want a family and believe you are the problem. Because conception is not about bodies and babies.

There’s a psycho-spiritual-existential ‘infertility’ that most women experience sometime in their life. Women who are having difficulty trying to conceive of who they really are, who have felt alienated by their own personalities, who are desperate to find home inside themselves.

Turns out that was what was going on for me. I was misidentifying with this body, this personality, these dreams, these fears.

Why aren’t we looking this elephant in the room directly in the eye, instead of rushing off to the next expensive procedure or surgery?

Vaginal Steaming is a self care ritual for all women.

I had to reconcile with my very personality, to see that I was not it. I was not an infertile woman, not a wife, not a daughter, not in control.

For me, I sat in that truth, not knowing who I really was… not knowing… not knowing…

I had to get real with myself and not give in to the temptation to run off to distract, bury my head in the sand, or try to pretend.

I remember a symbolic moment, where I was on a long bike ride in the pacific northwest, and I rode up to this giant maple surrounded by farmland. I threw down my bike and screamed and cried. Asking this giant tree for help.

The wisdom of life in the form of a tree soothed me. I didn’t have to know.

I kept steaming, stayed connected to my cycle. Stayed close to the knowing that the answers weren’t going to come from my personal thinking, and for the first time in my life during difficulty, I didn’t disassociate.

A few days later clarity just came out of the blue.

Vaginal steaming was a pivotal practice of self care for me, then and now.

This practice isn’t the end all be all, because no practice can be. But for me and women throughout the ages, it is a ritual of good self care, nourishment, unwinding tension, and helps me hear truth.

So I ask you, what woman do you know who wouldn’t benefit from a reconnection with truth, of re-patterning the way she feels touch, of easing her cycle symptoms, boosting sexual satisfaction, and looking towards who she really is?

Because when we close down, tense up, and tune out, we often find ourselves making rash choices, and misidentifying with our egos.

I ask you, what young girl just coming into womanhood wouldn’t benefit from knowing herself deeply this way? Of not feeling victimized by her body each month? Of discovering this beautiful oneness with the energy behind life, through her menstrual cycle, and leaning into her inner compass, rather than the whims of culture?

What woman struggling with the impossible pain and heavy self judgement of not being able to conceive?

Of having pain so bad each month she misses school or work?

Of terrifying growths, fibroids and cysts preventing her from living a healthy life?

Of feeling sexually dysfunctional, trespassed, defiled, or feeling like her sexuality is not her own? Like it’s been shaped by the hands of others. Of feeling like she has no idea where to begin in the discovery of her own autonomous joyful sexual expression.

This beautiful simple and profound practice is the seat of all this rich discovery.

It’s a tool yes, but how you use a tool matters more.

I empower my clients to have their inside-out revolution, in their own time, paced by life’s wisdom rather than personal will. Vaginal steaming supports this discovery and I am thrilled to bring you this art.

I am opening myself up as a conduit for what I believe to be the most approachable, profound women’s healing work of our time, inspired by the healing work of centuries old wisdom.

Truthfully, I thought I was done being a healer, I had given too much. My own well-being needed tending to. I took a long hiatus of nearly a year away from serving others.

But the amazing thing about accepting that life is in the driver’s seat, is that while you never really know where you’re going, you can trust that it’s the right way.

I took an exhale and waited again. Let this beautiful practice of vaginal steaming open me up. While I cannot say that it’s been graceful, or smooth, I’ve felt brave for trying to wait out the knee-jerk grasping for something.

I’ve had support from so many wonderful family members and friends. Especially my husband, Kjetil, who really sees when I’m enlivened by fresh breath, and when I’m reaching for stale air.

The clarity of this work again has been like a huge juicy inhale.

Since that breath my purpose has returned to me. Being a woman of purpose in a time of purposelessness was one of the greatest hells, and it made me realize what gifts I truly bring to women.

Seeing the way, from inner truth.

So, I’m here. I’m back, and yet I’m new.

I am yours, life and love brought me back from near drowning, for the greater good of supporting women who are waking up.

If this resonates, come see me. This is for you.


Pelvic and Abdominal Self-Massage will Change Your Life

Sarah talks about her path of re-inhabiting her body, bringing her awareness back down, getting out of her head, and getting on with life.

I’m a fit 34 year-old woman, never been pregnant, very active, healthy, and generally a happy individual. I have been experiencing some unlikely symptoms lately, including incontinence. I have trouble holding my urine. It’s something I’m slightly embarrassed about, because of how our society treats incontinence. (Walk down the ‘incontinence isle’ in your local grocery store to see the message we are sent, the products we are sold.) Many physicians say there is simply nothing you can do, it’s just a part of growing older. (Not true!) But what about me? I’m not old enough to fit into that category yet. Some physicians even suggest surgery, which will likely just exasperate the problem. Lucky for me, I have already gained some knowledge and tools to heal myself.

I started practicing internal and external pelvic floor massage in 2012, after taking my Pelvic Floor Yoga Teacher Training with Leslie Howard in New York. I’ve been practicing abdominal massage since 2014, when I attended a training in Maya Abdominal Massage with Cindy Aspromonte in Denver.

blossoming pelvis!
blossoming pelvis!

Both of these practices do a lot for my tissues, and the tension in them. I am able to bring my awareness, gradually and sweetly back into my body with simple self-massage techniques. This in turn, increases blood flow, lymph movement, cleansing of toxicity, and fascial stimulation (energy flow, lubrication and regeneration). My proprioception builds with each session, which gets me closer to being able to unite my mind with “down there’, often a place where we lack body awareness.

My teacher Leslie, Pelvic Floor Yoga guru, is an incredibly talented yoga teacher and teacher trainer who has been working with the University of San Francisco on the efficacy of pelvic floor work and yoga on incontinence. They’ve seen some huge positive results, way more than anticipated in this study. Incontinence is an obvious one, but imagine all the other ways this helps women: after or even before birth, after car accidents, sexual abuse or trauma, after falling, after a family member dies or gets injured…

What the belly and pelvis go through is important, because this is where we store emotional trauma and disempowerment.

What are the ways we as a culture experience some sort of trauma to our bodies, minds or hearts?

What are the ways in which you personally have?

For example, my life is a whirlwind of transitions right now, and I’ve been feeling displaced in my external physical space, quite literally, as we just moved and are in the process of buying our first house. It makes sense that I would also feel displaced in my physical body.

So, I had been telling myself for the last month that I needed to slow down and do my PF massages and Abdominal massage. I started to feel guilty that I didn’t just do it. It’s simple, fairly quick, plus it feels great… and I did have some extra time… Finally, after noticing that I had been clenching my teeth in my sleep for the last 5 days or so, I remembered the last time stress snuck up on me.

The jaw holds a mirror to the pelvic floor muscles, what the jaw muscles do, they do. The soft palate is known as the first diaphragm, the breathing diaphragm the second, and the pelvic floor the third. They all behave and move in unison, ideally. That’s why slow deep diaphragmatic breathing usually releases tension in the abdomen and pelvic floor. 

Johann Hari spoke brilliantly about Addiction in his TedTalk. He talked about how addicts are actually just a portion of the population who feels most lonely.” The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, the opposite of addiction is connection.” This works the same for aversion, and my aversion to being in my body was similar. I am not present in my body because it doesn’t feel great, therefore I disconnect.

I made myself slow down, and told myself that every Sunday morning, I would make the time for self-care. Starting today.

I felt a visceral release in my muscles and mind afterward that was so profound, I had to just lie there awhile and be in it. I put myself in a time out. My body was once again a place I felt good in. I began to inhabit my body again. I noticed my muscles regain their full range of motion, from engaged to relaxed. When I asked them to relax, they would. My breath would inhabit my entire body, from my soft palate to my pelvic floor. I felt all three diaphragms lower and receive breath on the inhale. On exhale, I watched my belly fall and felt the return of the three Ds.

If this sounds strange to you, I’ll tell you I have had many clients who, when on my Thai Bodywork mat, cannot allow their body to be passive in my arms. Their will is saying one thing, but their muscles have such a habit of protection and defense, they cannot overpower it at first. It sometimes takes a full hour with a client to get them back into their bodies fully.

So here I was, feeling myself once as resistant as one of my patients, experience that sensation of occupancy return. It was liquid and warm, it was joyous and homecoming.

When you relieve tension in your body, when your body is relaxed, you are less focused on disassociating and distracting from in it, and more likely to be comfortable in it. You are less likely to avoid your body altogether, and allow yourself to take pressure off your mind. When we’re uncomfortable in our body, we avoid it, our awareness avoids it, and what is left to occupy our awareness? Thoughts and emotions. We over think, become anxious and worried, critical and accusatory. Everyone is out to do us harm in some way. We are consumed by thought.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, 48% of Americans report insomnia occasionally, while 22% experience insomnia every or almost every night. What percent of these people feel a sense of connection and ease in their bodies? Probably not many.

If you’re experiencing trouble sleeping, incontinence, feel disassociated with your body, or are starting to display signs of excess stress in your body – don’t fret! Practice some Pelvic Floor self-massage or Abdominal massage.

Not sure how to do it or what’s next? Check out these links, and contact a professional in your area.

5 Tips to Claim Sensuality as Your Super Power

There is high importance in finding happiness and satisfaction as a modern woman. It’s the new mission of many successful, high achieving women. To feel fulfilled in a true and lasting way, in alignment with ourselves on a fundamental level. Many women feel at odds with their lives, with their relationships, and with themselves. To achieve this alignment, I believe a transformative leap is required – into embracing the feminine expression of sensuality, receptivity, and self pleasure. Of embracing Fertility.

Ask any woman what she deeply desires in her relationships – it is a feeling of connection, undefendedness, intimacy, and love. We all know we want this, but how do we actually achieve it?

We free the inner Sensualista, and start living life without constantly looking at our imaginary scoreboards and report cards. We learn to embody sensuality as our superpower.

“I’m learning to drop in and consider sensuality as a natural state. For all the bodywork, reiki, and self exploration I’ve done, somehow I’ve ended compartmentalizing this sensual energy in myself. Reserving it only for certain situations or moments – like the obvious – sex or masturbation. If this sensual energy came up during a reiki session or during my creative process, I would acknowledge it, but I wouldn’t necessarily let it linger, or embrace it. I wasn’t conscious of this part of myself on the day by day as a way of being… a way of feeling and existing and moving through life. It’s like my body feels warm. There’s a feeling of being plugged in.”

These words came from a client after just two days of working together. This is the power of the feminine sensual nature. It just wants to be seen and expressed… and we’re denying ourselves permission all over the place in every aspect of our lives.


The lack of permission for experiencing pleasure – without shame or guilt – it is at the heart of why many women experience feelings of isolation, disconnection, loneliness and depression. We don’t know that pleasure is our birth rite.

And it’s not entirely our fault…

We have been taught to feel shame about pleasure, to fear pleasure because it can get us into trouble. To demonize our sensuality, shrink it, block it, and attempt to erase it – because it has gotten us attention that we are not seeking, because we are afraid of being slut shamed… because we’re conditioned by culture, ancestral line, and history.

We have been taught to blame our sensuality for the heartbreak in the world that women endure, and we take on all the stories about sexual trespass, ours and other’s. It’s a heavy burden, and a very exhausting task to bear that weight, to try to diminish our own light.

And yet we are making choices…

We don’t realize it, but we throw the baby out with the bathwater when we deny this foundational part of ourselves. We loose our deep wisdom, we loose our internal compass, we loose connection with life, we loose our radiance and vibrancy – we loose ourselves.

This is how women end up in co-dependency. In relationships that they use to constantly validate themselves with – through their sex appeal most ironically. Using sensuality as a tool to get love, adoration, and safety is the dark side of the feminine power.

To their men it is felt as highly manipulative, and sets up a power dynamic that can go undetected for years. It leads to a power over, and power given dynamic that is totally unsexy.

To the woman, this feels like a deep void – and she fills this void in a myriad ways: manipulation, control, a barrage of activities, hollow self care indulgences,  and busyness – going to yoga to fill the void, getting spa treatments to fill the void, diving head first into work, motherhood, homemaking, self improvement…

Well I’m here to say – It doesn’t have to be this way!

Claiming sensuality – in whatever way that expresses for the individual – it the KEY to true and lasting confidence, empowerment, and expanded self-expression.

Claiming permission for upright sensual expression, for the sake of living undefended, raw, real and connected – this is the only healthy way. This is the way towards the wellbeing that every woman seeks inside of herself.

Sensuality can be a SUPER POWER. It can open you up to worlds of fulfilling life experiences, peaceful inner contentedness, and mind-blowing, meaningful sexual encounters that uplift BOTH partners.

5 Tips To Claim Sensuality as Your Super Power:

#1: Tuning into your sensual nature. The way the body senses the environment throughout the day is one great way to start reconnecting. How does the breeze sensually caress the light hair on your skin? How sensual is the sunlight? With awareness you can re-sensitize yourself to receiving the miraculous sensations from the body. When you do the entire world becomes a sensual, sensed in the body playground. You can take pleasure on demand!

#2: Tune into your womb and pussy. I like to have my clients set a timer on their phones to go off regularly throughout the day – every 2-3 hours or so. When the chime comes, stop everything and place your hand on your pussy, clothes on or underneath is up to you. Take 10 deep breaths and just be there. This is a sort of neurological rewiring practice – we’re so wired to avoid “the down there”! You will sensitize yourself to being in your body, connected to your pleasure – which makes for a much happier lifestyle than churning around in your head all the time!

#3: Take on a sensual creative project. Maybe you are a photographer, or a dancer, or a painter. Maybe you don’t feel like you have any artistic talents at all! It doesn’t matter. Here are some ideas: If you’re into photography, do a series of pussy photos. Take one every day for a week, sensing into her different moods at times of the day, before and after sex or self pleasure sessions, when you feel really happy, or angry. Or maybe you want to choreograph a really sensually expressive dance to your favorite song that moves your body. Maybe you want to paint your pussy while you look into the mirror. The point is to be in relationship and be reverent for your beauty, uniqueness, your own personal pleasure box. You will gain a deep love for you unique flower, her essences, and her odours.

#4: Go on a self pleasure safari. I love this one, it really makes my clients squirm sometimes. This is self pleasure homework, and I often prescribe two sessions per day. MANY many women totally neglect themselves in the pleasure department – you’d totally be shocked at the most empowered women who still feel shy about masturbating or asking for what they want in bed. It’s an epidemic! We love to complain too, oh how men have no idea how to touch a woman. Well, neither do the women! This homework is three fold – to help further your body’s wiring for pleasure, to help you decondition cultural narrative with action, and take ownership of what feels good to you. You will benefit from a hyper sensitized libido in many many ways in your life, and you will begin to see how sensuality is your super power.

#5: Ask for what you want. They say nothing is sexier than a woman who knows what she wants. It’s true in bed and business. Often though, the fear of rejection is so ingrained, women actually don’t ask for what they want, but instead try to get it in other ways – generally speaking ways that are all about manipulation. This is very UNsexy. It’s all about feeling safe, so don’t beat yourself up about it! Just make a commitment TODAY that you will just ask for what you want instead. No more guilting, suggesting, complaining, nagging, comparing, or competing. Just slow down and ask with honesty, and you will be surprised at how much beauty will come your way…

bonus tip: to harness your sensual power, extra points if you sense into your pussy while you ask!

Once you re-sensitize yourself and become a sensually awake woman, you have the power of your turn on, which is really just the power of being in your natural state. Sensuality is our birthright, in pleasure is how a human being feels at rest. This antidote for the stressed out modern woman. When she learns to harness the power of her sensuality, she falls so in love with herself that not only is she rewarded by life at every turn, getting what she asks for because she OWNS it – but she also learns softness, surrender, and ease in her body. Just like a lioness who hunts prey with her sisters, at the peak of performance, is utterly wild and commands respect, so is the lioness supple, sensual, and tender.

The Birds and The Bees: The Female Pelvic Floor

What all women need to know to feel empowered, sexy, and healthy!

“If we are all to sit in a circle and confess our sins, we would laugh at each other for lack of originality.”  ~ Kalil Gibran


My first year of yoga in my early 20s opened me wide. I started having some deep releases and profound experiences. I allowed myself to deeply process some things in those classes, big emotional releases were encouraged, and the space was safe. Hip openers and pelvis focused-postures in particular were where I was really experiencing the embodied emotions coming up.

I decided to go see an alternative therapist, and re-create the experiences I was having in yoga class, in her office. She let me intuitively lead my therapy, adding in techniques that deepened my healing. I discovered that I had been burying down in my pelvis many stories of sexual trespass.

It all made sense! Once I saw these shameful memories, and brought them to light, I was able to go somewhere inside myself  that I had been avoiding – I had opened my pandora’s box.

These experiences awakened a deep desire in me to heal myself, and my body showed me that I was onto something profound, that I could also help others heal.

I passionately applied myself to this calling, and became a vedic thai yoga bodyworker, yoga therapist, doula, pelvic floor specialist, and sensuality, empowerment & sexuality coach for women.

For the next 15 years, I dedicated myself to the study of this way of healing through embodying and integrating the stuff we hold in our bodies, specifically our pelvis – which leads to a freer heart and mind.


The Pelvic Floor is a very important, sacred piece of a woman’s anatomy. The whole body’s healthy functioning depends on it, including physical, emotional, mental, sexual, and hormonal balance.

  • Would you like to have good, pain-free SEX? The best sex of your life with multiple, full body orgasms? Look to the Pelvic Floor.
  • Would you like to have easier, near symptom free PMS and Menstruation? Look to the Pelvic Floor.
  • Would you like to have a smooth labor and birth, with less trauma and risk? Look to the Pelvic Floor.
  • Would you like to process buried grief, trauma, shame, fear, regret, or other emotional triggers? Look to the Pelvic Floor!
  • Would you like to get rid of spine, hip, leg or abdominal pain that baffles all the doctors? Look to the Pelvic Floor!!
  • Would you like to have healthy functioning organs, like bladder, uterus, and digestive tract? LOOK TO THE PELVIC FLOOR.
  • Would you like to embolden and empower yourself, and embody your life fully, to never question your unique creative power and personal medicine again? LOOK TO THE PELVIC FLOOR!!

The Pelvic Floor has been a focus for me for many years, maybe an obsession! After very deep work within myself and after many hours in dedicated professional trainings, layers of understanding have emerged, and I have come to know this incredible place as MAGIC.


There is an intricate balance which is nicely illustrated by this drawing, of the natural alignment of the organs within the Female Pelvis. They all sit on top of one another, support one another, and are also supported by ligaments and soft tissues, and the layers of the pelvic floor musculature. The angle of the pelvis, how your stand or sit, affects the load on the PF and the bones of the pelvis itself.

Screen Shot 2016-01-06 at 10.32.00 AM

Much of our lives are spent in an unnatural posterior pelvic tilt (tucking the tailbone under). This happens almost anytime we sit, and especially if you sit unconsciously, leaning back into the chair or car seat back support. This shortens, and sometimes atrophies the muscles of the PF. As one of my teachers, Leslie Howard says, “We’re a nation of mother tuckers!” This illustration above is, unfortunately, displaying said “tuck”.

Tucking is bad for many reasons, but namely because it creates TENSION. Unfortunately, we also tend to tuck (read: build unnecessary tension) when we pull in our abdomens as women, to appear more svelte and thin. Many workout classes, including yoga and pilates, over-cue abdominal and PF engagement, which as you will read below, makes the situation worse for women with hypertonic pelvic floors.

As a yoga teacher of 15 years, I have heard the cue “tuck your pelvis” more times than I can count. It’s anatomically lazy to say, ineffective at engaging proper core stability, and totally exacerbates PF dysfunction for about half the female population. STOP SAYING IT!

We also harass the PF when we push to poop, or when we hold in our pee and our farts. Gah! I said farts.


Pelvic Diaphragm:

Screen Shot 2016-01-06 at 10.32.12 AM
There are 3 major muscle layers to make note of:

Layer #1 – Bulbo Spongeas (Cavernosus): Forms a figure 8 around urethral, vaginal & anal sphincter. Sphincters at rest are contracted.

(That means you don’t have to push or contract to eliminate – it’s a RELEASE that opens the sphincter.)

Layer #2 Superficial Transverse Perineal: The muscle laterally connecting sitting bones.

(Layer 1 & 2 are undifferentiated at the perineum. Home of the First Chakra, Mula Bandha, and proper Keigel initiation.)

Layer #3Levator Ani: Like a horseshoe between the pubic symphysis. A group of muscles that “lift the ass”.

(Attaches to the sacrum, so if it’s tight it will pull the sacrum out of alignment, which affects the SI joint. Home of the Second Chakra.)


When in neutral alignment, more of the weight of the pelvic organs, and all the organs above them, is shared by the bony structure of the pelvis, specifically the pubic bone, and the pelvic floor muscles. The bones are evolved to support the majority of the weight of the body. However, when our posture fails us, this weight gets distributed entirely to the soft tissues like the Pelvic Floor, for example, in a tucked posterior pelvis. This “Load” on the tissues creates tension and holding patterns, which can become chronic.


Whenever there is chronic soft tissue tension, there is a resulting weakening. This is exasperated by any loads placed on the muscles while in poor alignment. (Think about the pressures and loads generated by the force of running, or being pregnant.)


Weakness comes in two forms, generally. First, weakness from too much tone or tension, which happens more than you would think! Constant tucking shortens the PF muscles, and also requires them to stay firm to support the weight above. Add on the loads of terrible habits like sucking in the belly, bearing down while eliminating, clenching the inner thighs, glutes and hell, everything “down there” – and you’ve got yourself a dysfunction called Hypertonicity. This can also be caused by physical pelvic trauma, like a car accident; physical/emotional trauma, like rape; or anxiety, stress and failure to process emotions. (and too many, or improper Kiegels!)


Hypertonic: cannot let go: too much tone.


  • Urge incontinence –  I have to go NOW! Nervy feeling
  • Vulvadinia – pain of vulva
  • Vaginismus – vaginal opening shrinks
  • Likenschlorosis- skin condition, scarring, autoimmune disease
  • Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), constipation/diarrhea
  • Systitus: bladder infections, inability to relax
  • Painful intercourse

PS: You have to release your hypertension before you can fix anything else.


On the other end of the spectrum, weak PF muscles can also be the product of a lack of tone, or Hypotonicity. This is common for women who are in their postnatal period, as the PF muscles just birthed a baby. As women age, the production of estrogen decreases, and this can cause a lack of muscle tone all over the body, but is especially noted in the PF. Often times finding these muscles to strengthen them is like searching in the dark for a black jelly bean, and can be frustrating for women. There are specific therapies that you can do, movements with very precise muscular targets, and order. Seek out a PF Yoga Therapist or Movement Therapist!


Hypotonic – cannot contract: lack of tone.


  • Stress incontinence – 25-45% of women experience this!
  • Prolapse of an organ, uterus most common, but bladder and rectum also prolapse.
  • Back pain, destabilization of the core and abdomen
  • Lack of connection with her creative feminine range
  • Flat feet and/or sagging glutes often indicate lack of tone
  • Lack of sensation during intercourse


Not all women should kiegel. Not all women have weak pelvic floors due to lack of tone – we have established this. However, there is no differentiation or examination of tone when keigels are prescribed by most health care professionals. There is also very rarely any actual instruction on how to engage properly, how to build strength using the whole group of synergistic muscle groups, and when enough is enough. Most women just grip whatever they can find and squeeze everything! This doesn’t produce pelvic floor strength, because your big muscles, like your glutes like to help – a lot. Also the more superficial PF muscles, like layer 1 & 2 are generally easier to find, so often they get recruited first, which isn’t actually strengthening the right layer, AND it’s training the sphincters to contract when they shouldn’t. Moral of the story – know your pelvis.


SIDE NOTE: Frankly, not all men should kiegel either! Hello – the number one killer for men in America is prostate cancer. This is hugely impacted by a high level of hypertonicity, which means lack of blood, lymph, and energetic flow. The best thing you can do for your man is learn to give him prostate massages. Bonus – he might learn to love them, because man can orgasm from prostate stimulation, if you do it jut right 😉 If you want to learn, or have me lead a mini-course for you and your girlfriends, contact me!


A note on Mula Bandha:

Mula Bandha is a very slight muscular ‘drawing up’ of the perineum, between a woman’s vagina and anus. I have several problems with the teaching and use of it in mainstream yoga.

  1. It is an energetic ‘lock’ used in yoga, bringing energy upwards, stimulating the Kundalini to rise. Mula Bandha was originally designed for men’s bodies, but it continues to be taught with this language to everyone, even though the male perineum is at least twice as long as a female’s.
  2. It was not designed to combine with asana, it was a stand alone practice, performed with skill that took years of practice to master, in seated meditation.  K. Pattabhi Jois was first to combine Mula Bandha with asana, and when he was questioned about where he got this methodology and information, apparently the secret book was eaten by mice…
  3. If Mula Bandha is done by someone who is Hypertonic, then there most likely will be continued and potentially serious damage done.
  4. It’s very difficult to master, even after years of practice, the glutes want to fire, the breath won’t descend back down on inhale, the upward movement of energy isn’t directed or harnessed properly – leaving a lot of spacey yogis ‘all blissed out’ but completely ungrounded.


Needless to say, the energy here in the pelvis is very potent, and has the power to affect the psyche on very deep levels, for better or worse. When properly taught, with correct therapeutic assessment of the state of the PF muscles in the student – Mula Bandha could be a life changing, affirming, empowering and strength-giving practice for the lucky student to receive such instruction. In my opinion, this should only be done with a master practitioner, in a trusting and private setting, with several sessions to build awareness, skill and strength.

The SOAP BOX portion of this article will now conclude.


The Female Pelvis is the Home of the First and Second Chakras

In Eastern traditions, the first and second layers of the pelvic floor are associated with the root chakra –  where we tend to literally “hold” fears, specifically fears around primary instincts such as our health, our family’s safety, and our financial security. It is a “stress container,” in that it’s where we process the emotion and house our fight or flight reactions. You know that feeling when you get cut off by someone while driving, get bad news, or are about to go into a high stress situation? This can cause you to clench your pelvic floor (i.e., it feels like an acid pit in your stomach).

Just above the first chakra, in the third layer of the pelvic floor, and pelvic bowl cavity, is the second chakra. This is associated with our sexuality, emotional range, creative sphere and sacred space. The burying of emotions and the lack of self-love eventually leads to a dulling of the sensation here, which can affect everything about how we express ourselves in the upper chakras. Our innate sexual, creative, intuitive and sensitive nature is like a muscle, use it or lose it. This manifests in the physical as pelvic pain, menstruation dysfunction, painful/sensation-less sex, endometriosis and more.



  1. If you’ve never had your pelvic floor released, consider it. This is also called de-armoring. Hunt down an Integrative Structural Specialist, Sexologist, Sexologiacal Bodyworker, or Internal PF Therapist. This can dramatically improve your connection with your PF on many levels. I do this deep work with women in the container of a long-term supportive alliance, which I believe to be far superior to a one-off visit. Often it takes time to develop the level of trust and safety that many pelvises need to release.
  2. Do some internal work on your own. Sensual Internal Pussy Massage is a beautiful way for you to explore your PF, your pleasure, and ultimately yourself. Enjoy this free gift! An e-book I created to help empower you on this journey to knowing yourself.
  3. Seek out a Pelvic Floor Yoga Therapist. There is a lot of healing that you can accomplish in private sessions, using asana, breathing techniques, visualizations and meditations, and exercises. I am happy to work with clients in person and online!
  4. Check out Abdominal Massage. This is a very old practice, found in indigenous folk medicine all over the planet. The abdomen, belly and pelvis are inextricably connected, and have a wellspring of potential for unlocking your healing capacity. Maya Abdominal Massage, Vedic Thai Yoga Bodywork, Ayurveda, and Chinese Medicine all revere the abdomen as the center of everything. I have trained extensively in this work and I tell you, it’s one of my top self-care techniques.
  5. Squat More! No, not with weights, or against a wall – the way our ancestors did, and many eastern cultures still do. Spending time in a squat is highly beneficial for the entire digestive/elimination process, as well as very good for creating healthy tone in the PF. Extra credit: get a stool for your feet in your bathroom, so you can ‘squat on the toilet’. The Squatty Potty is a great option.
  6. Don’t tolerate painful sex. If sex is painful, something’s not right. Have a discussion with your partner, do some of these suggestions, figure it out! It continues to relay bad messages to the body and brain when this intimate space is disregarded. Try SUPER slow, no friction sex. Use your man’s hard cock as a magic wand to gently melt the tension points by breathing into the area until it releases. Once you feel it soften, and the pain subside, re-pattern the point with a little healthy engagement by pushing into his cock with your deep pelvic muscles.


Adore Your Pelvic Floor – Viva la Pelvis!


Why Were Your Ancestors More Happy and Fertile Than You?

Let’s face it – we don’t have wise women or medicine men anymore – no elders in the tribe to consult. We have to reconnect with our own wisdom. Yet, we don’t know how to connect with our own wisdom. We have become so disconnected that we RELY mostly on outside –> in approach to our wellbeing.

To me, the biggest and most direct way to understand and know your wellbeing, on a holistic level, is through fertility.

We don’t understand what fertility actually means, and we don’t know what it’s like to feel fertile, to connect with ourselves sensually. Knowing your fertility is like sitting in a lush forest – you can feel the whole environment vibrating with fertility, with life thriving.
That’s how humans were born, and are designed to thrive. I’d say we are pretty far from that ideal, wouldn’t you?

I have a lot of lifestyle theories about why our ancestors lived more fertile lives than us, but I think at the heart, it all boils down to two mindset plateaus…hunter-female


Self Improvement. According to popular spiritual belief, spiritual awakening gurus, and mainstream media – self improvement is good right?

How could self improvement be bad, let’s start there. Well if you believe you need to improve, then that means there’s a deeper belief that you are not good enough right NOW.

If you’re not good enough right now, then you need to seek out ways to improve yourself from outside, like through yoga to become more flexible in mind/body for example.

I’m not saying doing yoga is bad – hell, I dedicated 15 years to a career as a yoga instructor. What I saw in that time however, in myself and in my students, made me realise that the entire industry is built on self improvement.

So when you believe you need to be fixed, that you aren’t enough, that there is always room for improvement… you are playing a very different game than the rest of the animals on this planet, and than your fertile ancestors.

Imagine this analogy:

You’re playing a team sport, let’s say basketball. You are enjoying yourself, feeling the exhilaration of being in the moment with other humans, collaborating, passing, scoring, relating…

Suddenly you remember that there is a scoreboard, and someone is keeping track of the score – and you look up to see how you measure up. You’re 10 points down! The other team is winning! There’s not much time left!

Stop and think for a moment, about how your body felt before you looked at the scoreboard, and after. Before you were in the flow of life, just playing, just being, your lungs were filled with oxygen, your body was moving, you were in connection with other humans in joy.

After you looked at the score however, all the benefits of playing the game came to a screeching halt, and instead of good endorphin hormones, you produced stress hormones like cortisol. Your breathing shortens, your body contracts, and you create imaginary scenarios based in fear, worry, anxiety about the future.

THE WORST PART: You’re no longer playing the game.

You are standing there, in the middle of the court, like a liability instead of an asset to the team – staring up at the scoreboard. Into a mirror of your own worst-case scenario thinking. AND you’re the one keeping score! In reality – no one else gives 2 shits about your performance.

Your teammates are passing you the ball, but you don’t see it. You’re too busy figuring out how you are fucking it up. You’re busy looking at all the ways you are drowning under pressure, how you are making mistakes, how you are failing. Worse, you see them trying to hit you with the ball, instead of them passing you the ball to invite you to play. The entire court becomes adversarial, instead of collaborative.

And we name this insanity SELF IMPROVEMENT.

Because if you could improve, you would be a better player. For some reason, just playing the game, and learning as you go, improving naturally and incrementally – making mistakes and growing from them… no that’s not acceptable.


Perfection. This would mean that you had to play IMPERFECTLY for a long time before you got good. That would mean something about you. That would mean you would have to really be a human being (like everyone else) with flaws, and apparently that’s the most despicable kind.

Everyone is a perfectionist – in fact if you look around, most everyone is just like you – standing there staring up at the scoreboard.

IS ANYONE ACTUALLY PLAYING? This question makes me laugh really hard. Because when my coach brought up this analogy for me, I got really hard on myself for not playing the game – more perfectionism! Then I realised that everyone else is most often doing the same, and it suddenly became so hilarious and adorable.

Do you think this is what the enlightened ancestors were talking about – or is there a difference between self improvement, and self awareness?

It’s a bane and a blessing to have such incredible technology to measure ourselves with. In the realm of ‘personal growth and improvement’ – I happen to think we have a serious disadvantage than our ancestors. Facebook is great for keeping in touch, but how much time do you spend on social media to get people to like what you’re up to, to share how you’re doing in order to get validation, and appreciation.

I don’t have the answers, but while considering my own fertility and wellbeing, I am left with some questions:

  1. Isn’t this just a tactic to skew the scoreboard?
  2. Isn’t it just more attention on the scoreboard, instead of actually playing?
  3. What if the scoreboard is totally arbitrary?
  4. What is no one else sees it but you?
  5. What would it be like to play in life without keeping score at all?
  6. What would flowing in life without the need to self improve look like?
  7. What would it feel like in my body to totally drop all that thinking?
  8. How could I allow myself to become more fertile and well just by NOT doing all that scorekeeping stuff?

Well these are some ideas to play around with, and if you’re wondering why I framed everything around the concept of fertility, stay tuned for my next article on WHY FERTILITY IS IMPORTANT FOR EVERY ONE (not just people trying to have babies!)


Vaginal Steaming: A Love Affair

Your high school sex ed class probably failed to cover this one. No worries. We’re here for you … all of you. Here’s why Sarah Lou LOVES vaginal steaming.

“The implications of this are that every woman has the power at her fingertips to heal her cycle, her womb, and empower herself to take responsibility in a VERY accessible way.”—Sarah Lou

Attention! I am now going to tell you why I LOVE Vaginal Steaming!

First, a story.

I used to have painful cramping every month. It really was debilitating. Not as bad as my friend who has endometriosis, but bad enough to keep me home. I found myself starting to decline RSVPs to events around the time of my menses. I started to dread my cycle. I started to feel isolated, alone, and slightly depressed—even more so than the PMS usual.

Then during my Maya Abdominal Massage training in 2013, I learned about vaginal steaming. We didn’t practice it at that time, but I heard about how the indigenous Mayan midwives treated women postpartum with steaming protocols, how they used it as a practice to keep the uterus healthy in all phases of womanhood.

How could I have not known about this?!

Something whispered in me, but I was skeptical.

I went home and started to do some research, not finding a whole lot. Back then, before Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop wrote the article that took Vaginal steaming into the spotlight, there wasn’t much information readily available. I learned what I could, got myself some herbs, and went home to squat over a pot!

Verdict: I was a little underwhelmed… I imagined that I would have a mystical experience with visions of elder Maya healers praying over me. I mean, I imagined that my vagina would open like a mouth and suck all the steam right up there!

Yet, it did feel really nice, and I was very relaxed afterwards. I chalked it up to a positive experience, and went about my life.

It wasn’t until after my next month’s cycle that I noticed my symptoms of period pain, brown blood, and intense emotional lows were gone. Skepticism was gone, and I did my steam every month and never did those symptoms reoccur.

In summer 2017, I started having symptoms again. Intense physical and emotional stress had caused me to stop ovulating, and I was having very short cycles. It really freaked me out. I realized I had gotten lazy about my steam practice. I empowered myself to take better care, and once again I found relief within a month.

Then I heard a podcast with Steamy Chick, Keli Garza, and she spoke of the incredible research she’s been doing, helping women heal from all sorts of problems manifesting as heavy bleeding, irregular cycles, infections, and pain, as well as the hormonal aftermath of birth, hysterectomy, and menopause. She shared that she’s found documentation of this practice being used all around the world in over 30 different countries, by indigenous healers.

I looked her up and realized she was training people in facilitating the art of steaming. I signed up immediately.

Until recently, western options in women’s reproductive health have been extremely limited, ineffective long-term, or truly life-altering. Often a woman’s only options are choosing between long-term drug/device use that may result in undesirable (and in some cases, horrific) side effects, or vital organ removal. Both miss the point of addressing the cause, and seek to simply manage symptoms in drastic ways.

As a result, women succumb to radical, yet-normalized surgeries, put their health at risk using drugs, or simply suffer in isolation. But now, perhaps ironically, many women are turning to the old ways to find the most effective modern results!

I’m also keenly aware of the lack of education around proper menstrual and reproductive health, that I believe should begin before puberty. I have vivid memories of the ‘sex ed’ class I had in high school. It came much too late in my opinion, and was full of lies, pushing one agenda: abstinence. I was actually told that I could get pregnant at any point in my cycle.

Well today, I believe that with appropriate guidance and support (for proper therapeutic herbs and protocols), vaginal steaming is positioned to revolutionize women’s (and girl’s) healthcare!

The implications of this are that every woman has the power at her fingertips to heal her cycle, her womb, and empower herself to take responsibility in a VERY accessible way.

Meanwhile, the majority of my bodywork and birth clients were struggling with menstrual and reproductive problems. It’s sadly common and often labeled as “normal.”

So, I have realized as an advocate of self-care and women’s health, there is no other option than to offer this service to women. I’m impassioned to be in the space to offer this gift to the world.

So here are my Three Top Reasons Why I Love Vaginal Steaming:

1. Happy Cycle

I LOVE having a clean pussy that smells like musky flowers, does her blood dance on the regular, doesn’t hurt me or cause me to feel depressed. Basically, I love having a healthy menstrual cycle.

After all this time, I’m quite amazed that the thing I dreaded each month could turn into a celebration of the cyclical nature of life. I am so grateful for the reminder each month to slow down, sit on my steam sauna, let myself feel into the watery side of myself, allow the emotions, and release the stagnation of the shit I didn’t say—just let it all be released by my body.

My body does that for me, and I don’t have to think about it—it’s empowering to surrender that way.

2. Sensitization to the Max

I LOVE having a sensitized pussy that responds to stimulus with pleasure. I love how the steam practice has increased blood flow to my whole pelvis, but especially to my labia and cervix.

I feel more pleasure—during sex of course, but also during walks in the woods when the leaves and the wind dance just right. I feel allowed to feel pleasure. I have become aware of all the things that can delight me, now that the veil of pain and dissociation are lifted.

I more-easily let myself receive, which (unbelievably!) starts with an open pussy.

3. Reclaiming Sexual Health

I LOVE taking my health back.

I remember how I felt defeated after that sex ed class. How broken I felt when I had an abnormal pap, after being diagnosed with HPV, and had to have a minor surgery to remove the “bad” tissue.

Now the stigma around ‘symptoms’ has lifted! I no longer hear bad news about my body and believe I’m broken, or that I need expensive interventions to heal. Ladies, your cycle is the 5th Vital Sign of your health. I love studying my cycle, in all its complexities and messages, and beginning to understand myself better.

Now I better know my needs, what I want, what builds fertility and juiciness, and I have the power to change things with that knowledge.

So, there you go.

I’ll leave you with this quote from Keli, “I felt like a truly magical woman.”